Its one of those nights when the awkward cushions on the couch don’t cut it, the thin layer of cheap carpet over a slab of concrete just isn’t soft enough, the chairs on the patio are about 6 inches too short, and the rhythm of crickets and fans is all too over played kind of like musical phrases “hit me baby one more time” and “don’t tell my heart…” Rather than counting, I find myself talking to the sheep. The couch is great, the floor has proven itself more than enough, and the patio well that just another story; but being a stranger to comfy beds why do tonight’s options for slumber fail me! It all boils down to dissonance and passions creating a bit of harmony.
A friend asked me a few months ago what my ideal situation was with IC and I responded with “being in Gulu working with Adam,” to which her response was a bit shell-shocked “really?” as was my inner reaction to what just left my mouth. There is a collection of terms paired with the word dissonance that I learned while in college. Cognitive dissonance, relational dissonance (I’m sure there were more but this is all I can come up with at 3am) but the common theme I’m after is “a lack in consistency or compatibility between actions or beliefs.”
Sometimes we find ourselves saying one thing about ourselves and doing another. Not speaking or acting with deceit in mind but doing so from a misunderstanding of ourselves. I’ve knocked on every possible door at IC only to be turned down each time, oddly enough I kind of thank God for that because He taught me some things through it. For example when I learned who was chosen over me a common theme arose: harmony. There is great harmony between IC’s goals and the passions of the folks chosen for those spots.
So how do dissonance and passions create harmony?
Well they really don’t but tonight they helped me see the common thread in my sleepless nights. There are at least one and sometimes two nights a week I find myself staring at the ceiling all night because I’m thinking about the National Tour. If I lay down my ideas of me and the words I’ve spoken about what my ideal involvement is with IC and listen to my actions they speak a different langue…these say: the “national tour” or rather sharing the story and inviting people to join in the story of the invisible children and live for more.
I have lost a lot of sleep, consequently making friends with a lot of jumping sheep, over ideas about how to present the story, easy technical solutions for many of the crazy scenarios the road throws, and even some ideas about the merch table. But very specific my passion seems to lie in the visual presentation of a screening.
I don’t know if there is a spot, man-power, or even a need for someone to work hard at developing a common easily reproduced aesthetic for IC's screenings. But this is right up my alley and I would love to make this happen. My support runs out at the end of this month, which means I return home or pick up another job that will do away with my free time for volunteering. I am thinking, if IC will have me, about coming back out here to do something like this for IC. But regardless I will be returning, Lord willing, to Knoxville to meet with you all again and see how you're doing and just talk. Talk about many things and specifically a few things about our partnership in the last 6-months...how you felt, what you thought about it, what you liked or didn't like, and if you would consider a longer partnership with me.
Ohh! the cricket is back from his break, he definitely scared me (shh don’t tell anyone I was scared by a cricket, it will ruin my whole mountain man image). If nothing comes of, what I'm labeling a possibility with IC, at least we can rejoice in the fact that the LORD has given me some understanding of my love for the aesthetic of things and how I could use it.
Thank you for your partnership with me in the spreading of the truth.
-shalom,
clint
"Wandering around our America has changed me more than I thought. I am not the same me any more. At least I'm not the same me I was." -Ernesto 'Che' Guevara
